Twitter Feud: Pumpkin Spice Latte vs. Apple Cider

Happy Fall, everyone!

Note: The above Twitter handles are not legitimate (maybe they are, but they aren't for these drinks). If they are, my use of the handles in no way indicates any support or such of their tweets, etc.

What Your RA Says: Beginning of the Year Versus End of the Year

I was an RA for two years and worked at the residence halls for three. Many of my friends are also RAs and are still RAs. From early morning lockouts to late night duty shifts, my RA friends and I have said many things, but our meaning did not always match our words. Sometimes the meaning will change depending on the time of day. The meaning of "Can I help you?" changes dramatically as the school year progresses from beginning of the year (BOTY) to end of the year (EOTY). Here are a sampling:

Can I help you?

BOTY: I'm here to help with all of your problems and answer any questions and I'm just so excited to be here and I really hope I can be of assistance.

EOTY: I'm just going to point to where you need to go or have you speak to someone else.

I hope you'll come to the program this Thursday.

BOTY: I put so much time and effort in planning and organizing this, so if you don't show up, I'm going to take it personally.

EOTY: I know you're not going to come, but there will be free food anyways so that I don't have to eat the dorm food.

I don't care if you drink alcohol, just don't drink in the dorms.

BOTY: Guys, I want you to think I'm cool and on your side. College is a new experience, and I know you're going to experiment, but if I'm definitely going to make you pour out that unopened bottle of Maker's Mark.

EOTY: I'm going to ignore everything I hear coming from your room to the greatest extent that I can.

Feel free to knock on my door.

BOTY: Come in anytime. We'll talk, hangout, or discuss anything you want. I'm here for you.

EOTY: Feel free to knock on my door, because I won't be in there anyways. Sucker.

I'm going to need to see your ID.

BOTY: I'm so disappointed in you. I really hope you learn from this.

EOTY: Awesome. Now I have to write paperwork. You're on my list.

Hi, (insert name).

BOTY: Hi, person whose name I can remember, thank goodness, or else this would have been awkward.

EOTY: Hi, person whose name I know, because you are either always receiving mail or getting in trouble or are my favorite resident.

Do you want some free pizza?

BOTY: I want you to like me!

EOTY: I want you to like me!

A Carnival Ride and Its Party-Goer Equivalent

This college year is just starting. For the freshman out there or those who aren't sure of the workings of a college party, here is a useful guide in terms that might help your understanding. I've compiled your guide to party-goers and the carnival rides they resemble.

Ferris Wheel: Host of the Party

The ferris wheel is the staple of the carnival. You can't have a carnival without having a host. The host will greet guests coming and going in a never ending rotation through the end of the night. The host will keep going as long as people are there.

Tilt-A-Whirl: Girl Who Suggests Shots

If you hangout with her, you'll either have an awesome time or will be cleaning vomit out of your hair afterwards. She wants everyone to blackout, so she'll make every twist and turn to get you to not remember which way is left and right.

Bumper Cars: Clumsy Drunk

Bumper cars, much like the clumsy drunk, is a classic and is not going away any time soon. Just expect her to be there. No party is complete without the clumsy drunk.

Fun Slide: Guy Who Pre-Gamed Too Hard

He arrives at the party wasted, and so he will quickly reach the end of his night. Sure, there will be some minor plateaus during his rapid decline to the floor, but mostly his evening will be a short experience.

Water Shooting Game: Sober Sally

I know. This is a lame game that nobody really enjoys, but everyone's played it at least once. The person who does enjoy the game will not shut up about it, and all night long you'll be hearing about how much fun you can have even without getting on the bigger rides.

Pirate Ship: People Playing Beer Pong (or any drinking game)

This group will get as many people as possible to binge drink with them. Everyone will have their hands in the air, cheering and shouting. The group has its highs and lows throughout the tournament. As soon as the game is over, everyone will go off to find something else to do.

Swing Around: Guy Who is High

He's really chill and relaxed. When you get on the swings, you are up in the air and think you can see to the ends of the Earth, but you can't. Everyone's reaction on this ride is different. Some get scared and paranoid that something will go wrong. Others can't get enough of the feeling. There's not much to this ride.

Junk Food Truck: Guy Who Always Orders Pizza

You probably ate before you got to the party, but this guy thinks it's necessary to buy ten large pizzas. Everyone wants this person around, but also doesn't want this person around. Because this person is around, you'll inevitable eat something greasy and deep-fried by the end of the night.

Best and Worst: Living the Big City Life

I have only lived in New York City for a couple of months, but already I have some opinions on it. Here are the best and the worst thus far--the list is not comprehensive, but it should give you a general understanding. 

The Best:

Photo found on Google image search

People-watching on the subway is nearly as good as people-watching at the airport. Once I saw a man with a haircut straight out of a Japanese samurai movie. The man I saw was not Japanese. Nor was he a samurai. Let's leave these hairstyles for anime, mkay? Thanks. (Although I don't mean to stereotype Japanese people or limit this hairstyle to only Japanese people. Everyone should never have this hair. Exception: those in samurai movies.)

One Month

One month and four days ago, I graduated Indiana University and said goodbye to many of my friends: best friends, close friends, new friends, and family friends. One month ago, I moved to the The City of Dreams and have fulfilled a few of mine: I saw Amy Poehler perform improv aaand that's about it. All in all, it's been a pretty emotional 30+ days--negative and positive. This is one of those posts that contains information to read for catch-up purposes without having to contact a lot of people individually. I love you all, and "It's been great!" just isn't cutting it.

13 Phases Before You Try Stand-Up Comedy--Detailed with Puppies!

1. You've read those great biographies of comedians...

http://i.imgur.com/12Gkkha.jpg

but now you want to make your own jokes.

2. You feel ashamed that it’s taken you this long to try that thing you always wanted to do in college.

http://i.imgur.com/rsYlJC1.jpg

You only live once.

3. Your friends think you’re the life of the party.

http://i.imgur.com/o0hM5Kc.jpg

"Hey, guys, look! I'm wearing Kevin as a hat!"

Grow Your Small Business

The following video is a final project I produced for the TV Studio Production class. A couple of weeks before the production, I pitched this project, and my classmates voted on it for a final project production. This experience of producing a project I pitched, produced, and wrote was educating and thrilling. The day of production went smoothly, and I am proud of our production. I went in with the intention that the production would parody a locally-made, poorly produced commercial for a salesman pitching to customers—the production I had in mind was an SNL-like comedy sketch. I could not have done this without the help of my classmates, and I appreciate the effort and skills of the people of my group and those of the whole class.

I was the producer of the production and organized what people would be doing, etc.—after asking for people’s input and preferences. We had a relatively clear idea of what we wanted done that day, and we worked together to set everything up. Also, during production, I noticed a lot of the people laughing, and they seemed to have a good time during the shoot. This was a great relief in terms of the production being funny and fun to shoot.

Overall, I appreciated the opportunity to produce a comedy sketch that I pitched and wrote, which is something I am interested in doing as a career.

If I could produce this again, the aspect of the production I would change is the graphics. I envisioned this as a locally, poorly produced commercial parody, but the graphics look as though we did not put in much effort. Well-made graphics would have enhanced our production while still keeping the look and feel of the sketch.

Anyways, here is the embedded video. Thanks for watching!

Spring Break: A Taste of New York City

I've grown up and lived in Fort Wayne my entire life--except that one year during which I lived in Japan and went to kindergarten. I figure it's time to try something new. In less than two months, I'll move to New York. For Spring Break, I traveled to the east coast to dip my toes in the city that never sleeps and prepare myself for the big move. I learned some things whilst doing some things.

The Metro

Never--NEVER--look at the subway advertisements. 

Actually, most of them were okay and some of them were funny.

Because of the gross ones, though, it's not worth it. Keep your eyes on the floor or in a book.