Grow Your Small Business

The following video is a final project I produced for the TV Studio Production class. A couple of weeks before the production, I pitched this project, and my classmates voted on it for a final project production. This experience of producing a project I pitched, produced, and wrote was educating and thrilling. The day of production went smoothly, and I am proud of our production. I went in with the intention that the production would parody a locally-made, poorly produced commercial for a salesman pitching to customers—the production I had in mind was an SNL-like comedy sketch. I could not have done this without the help of my classmates, and I appreciate the effort and skills of the people of my group and those of the whole class.

I was the producer of the production and organized what people would be doing, etc.—after asking for people’s input and preferences. We had a relatively clear idea of what we wanted done that day, and we worked together to set everything up. Also, during production, I noticed a lot of the people laughing, and they seemed to have a good time during the shoot. This was a great relief in terms of the production being funny and fun to shoot.

Overall, I appreciated the opportunity to produce a comedy sketch that I pitched and wrote, which is something I am interested in doing as a career.

If I could produce this again, the aspect of the production I would change is the graphics. I envisioned this as a locally, poorly produced commercial parody, but the graphics look as though we did not put in much effort. Well-made graphics would have enhanced our production while still keeping the look and feel of the sketch.

Anyways, here is the embedded video. Thanks for watching!

Spring Break: A Taste of New York City

I've grown up and lived in Fort Wayne my entire life--except that one year during which I lived in Japan and went to kindergarten. I figure it's time to try something new. In less than two months, I'll move to New York. For Spring Break, I traveled to the east coast to dip my toes in the city that never sleeps and prepare myself for the big move. I learned some things whilst doing some things.

The Metro

Never--NEVER--look at the subway advertisements. 

Actually, most of them were okay and some of them were funny.

Because of the gross ones, though, it's not worth it. Keep your eyes on the floor or in a book.

How to Write an "I never go to class, but can I have your notes?" Email.

Finals week is upon college students. A semester's worth of late-night studying and writing will be over in one seemingly endless week. Sure, some students have no finals this week. A few have only one before Wednesday. Other students have six finals and final papers to turn in. This student will not wrap-up finals before Friday. Finals week is when the worst and the best of us comes out to finish off the semester.

Understandably, the average college student will not obtain perfect attendance due to a variety of reasons: illness, tragedy, sleep-deprivation, or a combination of all three (for the 21+ crowd in Bloomington, I blame Kilroy's). When a student misses a class, the student might check with a class friend about any missed material. If said student has no class friends who can help, then often an email is sent out to the entire class to see if one willing classmate will share notes.

Wanna Join the Pen-15 Club?

Three weeks ago, my three week program in London ended (currently going through London withdrawal). I stayed a couple more days, so it hasn't been a complete three weeks since I was in the UK, but it sure feels like I visited three years ago. I've been reflecting on my time abroad, and I realized that even though I was only there a relatively short time, I learned a lot, and I learned something really important.

England is obsessed with penises.

Thought You Should Know July 7-11th

It was reported this week that Justin Beiber was pulled over in LA by police, which was pretty embarrassing for Justin, because the reason the officer pulled him over was that he thought a 12 year old was driving the car.

The Hunger Games book trilogy is going to be made into four movies, as Lionsgate announced that the last book, “Mockingjay” will be split into two films. This really is terrific news, because today’s society, where children are reportedly more violent, really needs more movies that involve a game where kids violently kill each other.

During a performance in the UK, Rihanna's wardrobe malfunctioned according to some media outlets. Although, I’m pretty sure this “malfunction” only revealed just as much skin, or less, as Rihanna’s attire normally does.

During a performance in the UK, Rihanna suffered from a wardrobe malfunction, which begs the question, “Was ‘Where Have You Been’ a song for a better costume designer?”

A study conducted by the University of Wisconsin found that the amount of time spent on Facebook is not linked to causing depression. The study's sample, however, did not include people who post song lyrics from Adele or “like” The Notebook and are listed as "single."

On July 18^th, the world will celebrate the first photograph ever that was posted on the internet. Fortunately, the picture was not of male genitalia or lolcats. Unfortunately, it is proof that the 90s need never return.

Alice Van Ness was fired from her job as a yoga instructor at Facebook’s Menlo Park campus. Van Ness discouraged the use of smart phones in her class. In Facebook’s defense, the firing is justifable, because students were unable to check-in to their location when updating their status to, “Totally focused on yoga. Learning the acrobatic half-moon pose. Namaste” while simultaneously uploading a photo.

Adam Lambert is reportedly a contender for a potential job as a judge on American Idol. I’m just glad the show’s getting back to its roots and finding a judge who will both wear a too-tight black T-shirt and behave in such a way that confuses people.

A man in Pennsylvania was arrested for breaking into a Subway restaurant and stealing bags of chips. Police found the man by following a trail of chips that he had dropped. In the man’s defense, he was really affected by the Hansel and Gretel episode of “Once Upon A Time.”

In Wisconsin, after a waitress brought a man a piece of cake on his birthday at the request of his friends to cheer him up, the man pulled a gun out and told them to “back up off me.” In the man’s defense, he was depressed because he just found out he has celiac disease.

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Writer's note: Apparently, I'm in a defensive mood this week.

Excuses, excuses.

You know my first ever post on this blog? No? Well, just scroll down an inch, and you can read it. You know how I said that the first post might be the last post I’d ever write, because I’m lazy? You do? Good. Well, it wasn’t my last post, but I only wrote four before going on an extended hiatus. Sure, I could make excuses, such as: “I realized I should go into a career with more stability like farming” or “I was studying abroad in London for three weeks,” or “My dog ate my computer,” or “I was taking time to reflect on my upcoming last year in college.” You know what, though? I’m just lazy.

Not “lazy” in a sense that I won’t ever do anything, ever, because I’d rather sit on the couch, watching TV, drinking syrupy beverages and eating salty snacks (although, that does sound like some sort of life I’d be interested in). More “lazy” in a sense that I want to do something, but get so overwhelmed at the amount of dedication it takes that I sort of fall out of doing it and that sitting in front of a TV is better—well, easier--and I can use the excuse that I can study the directing, cinematography, and dialogue of shows on a certain streaming service that I should have cancelled months ago.

I’m the type of person who tried to write in a diary when I was younger, wrote a few entries (four, maybe), and never opened it again. In fact, I had six or so diaries that I began, spread out across a decade or so. My problem, I thought, was that I didn’t have a cute enough diary—I’d invested in this hard bound journal, on which the cover was a golden retriever puppy, and I couldn’t bring myself to defile such a cute diary with pen or pencil. So, I got a “COMPOSITION” book (the black and white, army design un-spiraled notebook). I even got this really schnazy, electronic diary that only opened on the password I made up and to the sound of my voice. The only problem was that it was purple. Gross.

Long story short, I found out that it wasn’t the type of notebook I bought that kept me from filling its pages with countless, super-interesting happenings of the day (think: Dear Diary, today I managed to learn how to pop a front-wheelie on my bicycle).

Too bad I never consistently wrote in them, because I could be reading some gems right now.

But, you know what? I never had anything interesting to write. And, honestly, I don’t care about what the 6, 10, 14, or 16-year old version of me thought was important. I’m pretty sure I can remember that I thought Kevin from the Backstreet Boys was “HOTT” and that instant messaging was like, totally cool beans.

This isn’t to suggest that I have anything interesting to write in this time of day or that I’ll be reading them 10 years from now, reflecting on what I thought was funny or entertaining when I was 21 years old. But, I want to do it. And I’m going to do it--even if it takes two months between every four posts. By golly, I’m going to do it.

Now, where the hell is the remote?

Thought You Should Know -- May 7

Finals week is over, and summer has begun. This means, at least for the month of May, I will be posting on this blog more frequently (fingers crossed). Unfortunately, that does not mean the material will be any better. Here is a handful of jokes I came up with.

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The cat that became famous for weighing 39 pounds passed away on Saturday, May 5th. Apparently the cat had been used as a figure in the fight against pet obesity. Which begs the question, "Why couldn't the cat have been used as a model of pet weight loss?" Instead, they chose to continue feeding the cat whole milk, not skim.

A woman tweeted the amazing discovery that an iPad charger can be used as a bottle opener. So, if you're ever looking for something more expensive than a $2 bottle opener meant for this sort of thing, or a knife, or the side of a table, then go ahead and crack open your Miller Light with a $30 electronic.

A woman tweeted that she discovered that an iPad charger can be used as a bottle opener. So, the next time you're opening your Bud with a regular bottle opener, remember that you could be honoring Steve Jobs by opening your cheap beer with a revolutionary Apple product.

On Monday, May 7, Huffington Post posted a slideshow titled, "TV Redheads: The 19 Most Awesome Gingers." Denied titles include, "19 TV Characters Without Souls," "19 TV Characters You Want to Ask If Their Carpet Matches Their Drapes," and "19 TV Characters Whose Favorite Drink is Gingerale."

James Cameron announced that he is going to focus on making new Avatar movies--citing that he's making Avatar 2, Avatar 3, and maybe even Avatar 4. After this news, it is clear that Cameron is going to reach into other Disney storylines, because there is only one Pocahontas sequel. 

The Avengers did well in its opening weekend, pulling in 207 million dollars. So, rest well, nerds, knowing you have secured all top 5 spots in the biggest weekends at the box office.